why your fitness and diet goals are doomed to fail (and how to actually succeed!)
We've all been there, a well-intentioned goal to eat better and work out more; and whilst some people succeed in losing weight or getting fit in the short-term, the longer-term outcomes are particularly poor.
A meta-analysis of 29 long-term weight loss studies showed that more than half of the lost weight was regained within two years, and by five years more than 80% of lost weight was regained. The statistics for fitness goals are similarly dire—so what's going on here?
Sometimes it comes down to what is driving the goal and whether it is coming from a place of love or punishment. If your goal is based on vanity and wanting to look a certain way, you might end up destroying yourself at the gym, doing exercise you don't enjoy; suffering to be either slim or ripped. You might also be enforcing restrictions on what you eat and forcing yourself to eat foods you don't enjoy. After a few weeks of this self-judgment and punishment, you may be starting to see the results you want, but the urge to quit will be strong and the chances of long-term success are slim.
Here are four ways of avoiding this trap and how to set life-changing health goals that are more achievable and enjoyable:
1. Assess whether you need to do anything at all! - how much of your desire to change your body is from a place of self-love and is health-focused? How much of it is being fuelled by societal pressures and being exposed to hundreds of images every day of models—images that may have been edited and enhanced to create impossible beauty standards? This leads many people to develop unhealthy views about their body, which can lead to vanity goals that are doomed to fail.
2. Develop goals founded in self-love - If you want to change your body, do it because you want to be healthy and take care of yourself, not because you saw some ripped influencer that triggered some feelings of inadequacy.
Do some internal work before setting fitness goals, because if you are carrying around emotional baggage and insecurities born from difficult experiences in your past, this could be negatively influencing the goals you are setting in life. A coach or therapist can support you in challenging and reframing negative beliefs and thought patterns, and help you see things from a more positive and truthful perspective.
You are much more likely to succeed if your new goal is more akin to a long-term lifestyle change, and is founded in self-kindness and love, not self-judgment and punishment. This doesn't mean you can't go hard at the gym either. Going hard because you're focussed on being healthy, being strong and living a long healthspan is different from going hard because you don’t like your current body shape. If you already respect yourself going into a new fitness regime, then your self-esteem is not conditional on whether you get six-pack abs.
3. Don’t do restriction diets - restriction diets rarely work in the long-term, so instead of denying yourself the things you like to eat, start by adding one new healthy thing to your diet that you enjoy eating, and eat the veggies and protein first when you have a meal. This will help with satiety and will gently encourage you to eat less junk carbs. Go slow, and add another healthy food when you're ready, and slowly start to reduce the regularity and/or quantity of junk food if that feels comfortable. Make changes that you’re prepared to do forever, and over time you’ll notice your taste buds and microbiome will start to change, and your cravings for sugary, highly processed foods will start to diminish.
4. Don’t go to the gym if you hate it - instead of ruining yourself at a gym that you hate, try experimenting with ways of moving your body that you enjoy. It might take some experimentation, but if you embrace this adventure with an open mind, you’ll find new ways of working out that you genuinely enjoy. Some novel examples could be dancing, climbing, frisbee, boxercise, paintballing or a new type of gym workout. Ironically, after committing to a new exercise regime that you enjoy, you may find over time that your body starts changing in ways that were previously elusive to you when you were setting vanity goals founded in self-punishment.
Many of us have become sedentary and inactive through desk jobs and sitting on sofas watching Netflix. But our bodies were built to move and there is much joy to be found—not to mention natural neurochemical highs—as a result of working out or playing sport. Reconnecting with this side of yourself might take some patience if you've spent years not moving; but follow your curiosity and don't be afraid to try new things.
Conclusion
Permanent lifestyle changes can seem more daunting than quick-fix diets or temporary fitness routines. But if you approach this from a place of self-care, take your time, and find things you enjoy, you are setting yourself up to win.
Stepping into the unknown can feel scary, but it's where you will grow and find fulfilment—so be courageous! Building long-term, sustainable habits will take some time, and that’s ok. Be patient with yourself, and don’t be afraid to get some support from a coach, therapist or personal trainer.
It also might help to think about your future self and how the acts of self-care you are committing to now are setting you up for a healthier and happier future.
